Short of the Week

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Comedy Christian Cerezo

The Only People Who Have Ever Seen Rob's Penis

Rob lies to his girlfriend about his virginity and is suddenly teleported into a room with a small group of people with one thing in common...

The Only People Who Have Ever Seen Rob's Penis

Directed By Christian Cerezo
Made In USA

How many people have seen your genitals? Think hard. It’s not just your sexual partners. Your parents for sure, most likely your grandparents too, doctors, nurses, open shower spectators… Now, imagine all these people in the same room with you…

As you probably guessed, this is exactly what happened to Rob in Christian Cerezo’s snappily titled The Only People Who Have Ever Seen Rob’s Penis. Inspired by his own feelings of naivety when it comes to romantic relationships, Cerezo’s 18 min comedy short delivers an unusual balancing act—it’s strange, bordering on ridiculous—but, at the same time, it’s sweetly life-affirming, offering a fresh angle to the well-worn foibles of sex and dating.

Rob is a virgin. He is also in a new relationship with an experienced lover. When they find themselves teleported to a room with a few other people, some familiar and some less so, they are told, by a mysterious, invisible wizard, that in order to leave, they must figure out what they all have in common. As side note: this is by far the weirdest film synopsis I have ever written…

When he started his first relationship Christian Cerezo was older than most people going through the same thing. “Everything about our time together was instantly monumental to me. The first time we walked around a mall and held hands was the first time I’d ever walked around a mall and held hands with a girl. The first time she leaned her head on my shoulder was the first time any girl had leaned her head on my shoulder,” the director recalls.

But, it was the moment when he first saw his girlfriend’s reply to a friend’s text message that inspired the film. It said: “I’m just eating lunch with my boyfriend.”

“It was basically the most amazing thing I’d ever heard. I wanted to make a film about how that moment felt,” Cerezo explains.

At its heart, The Only People Who Have Ever Seen Rob’s Penis is all about the emotions which come as part of a package deal along with these wonderful firsts. Insecurities and self doubt, the desire to appear perfect in our lover’s eyes, at least for long enough to have them fall for you, and then have to deal with the “real” you and your flaws. They are issues we have all dealt with and can easily relate to, which is what makes Rob’s Penis (as we refer to it at S/W to Rob Munday’s delight) such a good watch.

The sweet takeaway works even better thanks to the wonderfully weird premise it hides beneath. It’s also what sets the film apart from other shorts in the overpopulated rom-com genre. The wizard’s “common room” is a real stroke of genius, and although I feel Cerezo could’ve taken the weirdness a little bit further, it still delivers plenty of comedic opportunities for the viewers to enjoy.

As Cerezo relates:

“A problem that me and the editor Heather Mathews were facing was the teleportation of Rob into the room. The reason we went with simply “popping” him in and out was because it was our way of acknowledging the goofiness of the premise. It was our way of saying ‘We are very aware of how dumb this premise is.”

For me, it’s the bizarre marriage of the two—the ridiculous plot and the sentimental message—that makes this short an all round crowd pleaser. Not too sweet, not too strange, but just right.

Christian Cerezo is currently working on a feature film, so keep your eyes peeled!